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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25575517">Christmas Cards</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/kinghongjoong/pseuds/kinghongjoong'>kinghongjoong</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>ATEEZ (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Christmas Fluff, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Daddy Kink, Dom/sub Undertones, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Pet Names, pornstar!Seonghwa</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 03:07:36</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,805</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25575517</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/kinghongjoong/pseuds/kinghongjoong</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>"My name is Kim Hongjoong and I am a 21-year-old music producer. Years ago I came out as pansexual and got disowned by my parents. This year for Christmas I really want to fuck with my family and relatives by making and sending them a Christmas card with myself and a random family saying something like “Seasons Greetings from the Kims!” making it look like I managed to marry someone that isn’t a woman and we have kids. It will be ironic and exaggerated with a lot of ugly sweaters. If you let me take a picture with you I will give you as much as you want and copies of the cards once they are printed. I think it would be funny and it would make for the best Christmas I’ve had in a while if you help me spite them. If you are interested in helping me (and maybe would like to see what I do), do contact me."</i>
</p><p> </p><p>Kim Hongjoong just wanted to piss off his homophobic parents. </p><p>He did not expect his favorite pornstar Park Seonghwa to volunteer for it.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kim Hongjoong/Park Seonghwa</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>260</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Christmas Cards</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/suhderys/gifts">suhderys</a>.</li>


        <li>
            Inspired by

            <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/657883">Christmas Fool's</a> by kinghongjoong (was amazingphilia).
        </li>

    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is a rewrite of <a href="https://amazingphilia.tumblr.com/post/138198508911/one-shot-christmas-fools">this Dan/Phil fanfic I wrote</a> YEARS ago, this time starring ATEEZ, featuring more fleshing out of the romance. There is actually no smut in this. It just so happened that Seonghwa works as a porn star. There is a slight daddy kink and kitten kink, however, so be careful with that. Also, Ryujin is like, four in this. Wooyoung is fifteen.</p><p>Enjoy this mess I tried to rewrite for your consumption.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <strong>Looking for random man to play husband and two kids to let me take Christmas portrait with [Seoul; name your price]</strong>
  </p>
  <p>My name is Kim Hongjoong and I am a 21-year-old music producer. Years ago I came out as pansexual and got disowned by my parents. This year for Christmas I really want to fuck with my family and relatives by making and sending them a Christmas card with myself and a random family saying something like “Seasons Greetings from the Kims!” making it look like I managed to marry someone that isn’t a woman and we have kids. It will be ironic and exaggerated with a lot of ugly sweaters. If you let me take a picture with you I will give you as much as you want and copies of the cards once they are printed. I think it would be funny and it would make for the best Christmas I’ve had in a while if you help me spite them. If you are interested in helping me (and maybe would like to see what I do), do contact me.</p>
  <p>Thank you and happy holidays!</p>
  <p>Contact details are below.</p>
  <p>+82 XX XXXX YYYY<br/>
khj_9811@naver.com</p>
  <p>Do NOT contact me for unsolicited offers.</p>
</blockquote><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>“Hello, is this Kim Hongjoong?”</p><p>Hongjoong is awakened by an unknown voice at the other end of the line. “Yeah, it’s me. Who’s this?”</p><p>“Hi!” the other person sounds way too happy for a conversation at... Hongjoong looks at his bedside clock. Eight-thirty in the morning. “My name is Seonghwa, I’m calling about your Christmas prank ad?”</p><p>That is one way to wake him up. Hongjoong bolts up on his bed, shoving his blanket off his legs, “yes, yes. Are you interested?”</p><p>There is a chuckle on the other line, “yeah, I’m interested. It sounds funny.”</p><p>“That’s great! Yeah, that’s great,” Hongjoong glances at the small clock on his bedside table. “Would you be free to meet up later? Just to discuss it properly, I mean.”</p><p>“Yes, I am. Where should we meet?”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>“Holy shit,” Hongjoong exhales, “you’re the gay porn star Daniel Park!”</p><p>Seonghwa laughs airily at that, platinum blonde hair fluttering as he speaks. “That says a lot about your choice in porn if you know who I am,” he smiles, “you must be Kim Hongjoong? The one who got disowned by his homophobic family and now wants to spite them?”</p><p>Hongjoong is in too much of a daze to say anything, staring at Seonghwa’s grey eyes, high nose, sharp jawline intently to make sure he is real. He opts to nod very slowly, lips parted in absolute awe.</p><p>Seonghwa snorts again. “Close your mouth, kitten.”</p><p>Hongjoong’s ears heat up at that, looking down on the wooden table in the middle of them. “So um,” he begins, twiddling his thumbs with each other, “let’s talk about what we should do?”</p><p>Seonghwa’s eyes crinkle as he looks at the shy Hongjoong, completely ignoring Hongjoong’s suggestion. “Do you want anything? My treat.”</p><p>Hongjoong’s head shoots up, “what? No, no! It’s okay, I made you come out here anyway.”</p><p>Seonghwa shakes his head at Hongjoong, and Hongjoong wonders how his hair is still so flowy after being fried by bleach to the point where it looks like ice. “Don’t worry about it, really. You wanna tell me what you want, or do you want to make me guess?”</p><p>Hongjoong blushes again, mumbling a small “iced Americano,” towards the table. He hears a sigh from across him, followed by a finger hooking under his chin, making him look up to meet Seonghwa’s gaze.</p><p>“Can you look at me? What do you want?”</p><p>If this were a porn scene, the next line of the script would be, ‘you.’ But it is not, and so Hongjoong says, “iced Americano.”</p><p>Seonghwa pulls his fingers away and ruffles Hongjoong’s hair, getting up to go to the counter. “Good kitten.”</p><p>Hongjoong feels a bout of spontaneous combustion coming on.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>“To be honest, Hongjoong,” Yeosang says raspily, two parts amused and one part completely dumbfounded by the sheer luck. “Only you would get into a situation like this. I mean—Daniel Park as your fake husband!”</p><p>Hongjoong runs a hand through his hair, “His name is Seonghwa, alright. Seonghwa, every Korean twink’s dream daddy and every Korean bear’s dearest twink.”</p><p>“Seonghwa answered your ad.” Yeosang repeats, then stares at him before bursting into raucous laughter once again. Hongjoong looks up, glaring angrily at the other boy.<br/>
“Stop laughing at me! I asked you to help, not laugh!”<br/>
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry! It’s just–! Wow, Hongjoong hyung, where can I get some of that luck?”<br/>
Hongjoong glares at him, “You’re horrible. And so is he!”</p><p>Yeosang grins, “You don’t mean that… kitten.” He laughs again.<br/>
Hongjoong groans, “Shut up!” he hides his face in his hands. “I swear, you should have been there. He was awful.”<br/>
“What did he do?”<br/>
“I don’t know!” Hongjoong shrieks, “he was just so… charming! And sweet, and he called me kitten, and he bought me coffee!”<br/>
Yeosang just looks at him with a mischievous look on his face, “woah-ho, better make sure he didn’t lace that with anything.”</p><p>Hongjoong glares at him again. “What kind of porn do you watch? He wouldn’t drug me.”<br/>
“Maybe it’s just him in his porn star self, you know how it goes.” Yeosang shrugs. “They’re like sirens. You’d know that, Pirate King.”<br/>
“That sentence can go two ways. And don’t call me that!” Hongjoong hisses, “I don’t wanna get mobbed.”</p><p>Yeosang leans forward. “All joking aside, hyung… you know you can tell him if you’re not okay with the passes he’s making. Yeah, he’s a porn star, but that doesn’t mean he can’t take a no.”<br/>
“It’s not that,” Hongjoong mumbles, “he’s just… I don’t know!”<br/>
“But do you hate it?”<br/>
“I don’t know.”<br/>
Yeosang backs away. “You can lie to me, hyung,” he says, rubbing his hands on his pants, “but you can’t lie to yourself. Basics of consent: if you say ‘I don’t know’…”<br/>
Hongjoong sighs. “It means no.”<br/>
“So I’ll ask again: do you hate that Seonghwa is flirting with you?”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>“So what’s our concept?” Hongjoong invites Seonghwa to his house, a humble apartment.</p><p>“Concept—guessing you produce for idols,” he comments, looking all over Hongjoong’s house. Hongjoong’s thoughts about being too poor for Seonghwa stop. He inhales sharply. Ah, crap. “But I was thinking, since their dad—“ he gestures to himself, “—is already a porn star, our family should look unconventional and we need to look like we’re awful parents.”</p><p>Hongjoong tries not to think about how Seonghwa said ‘our family’ made his heart thud a bit too fast than should be considered normal. He scrunches his nose, “that sounds like a terrible idea, let’s do it.”</p><p>Seonghwa’s response is a laugh. Hongjoong could easily misunderstand that laugh as something offensive, something mocking of his thoughts.</p><p>If it was, he would forgive him and make a fool of himself ten times over if it means making Seonghwa laugh like that. And that thought freaks him out.</p><p>At the end of the day, the two settled that alongside a porn star father and poses that make it look like Hongjoong is completely whipped for Seonghwa, they will look for two kids to pretend to be their punk children—completely decorated with nose and ear piercings, bright coloured hair, and shaved sides.</p><p>When Seonghwa leaves that night, he giggles and kisses Hongjoong on the cheek before he closes the door behind him. Hongjoong is frozen by the door.</p><p>What is happening?</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>“Why did you take so long to pick up? I called four times. Nevermind that, I know this kid,” is what Seonghwa says the moment that Hongjoong picks up at around eleven in the evening. “He needs some money, I found him on the street dancing. He said he’ll do it, but the clothes we get him are his, and the money too.”</p><p>Hongjoong scrunches up his face, “what a brat.”</p><p>Seonghwa laughs into the receiver, light and easy. Hongjoong’s heart beats a little faster. “Are you still at work?”</p><p>Calm down, heart, this guy is a porn star. Like Yeosang said, it is probably part of his job. “I never really leave…”</p><p>“Why not?”<br/>
“Too many ideas.”</p><p>Seonghwa hums. “Did you get dinner?”</p><p>Hongjoong does not answer. Instead, he changes the topic. “What’s the boy’s name? He seems like an ass.”</p><p>“Wooyoung,” Seonghwa answers, “don’t say that, kitten,” he coos in that sexy low voice of his. Hongjoong wants to fucking faint, “he’s our son. It’s puberty, forgive him?”</p><p>Motherfucker.</p><p>Hongjoong sighs. Two can play at that game. “Alright, <em>daddy</em>,” he says, playing along, “whatever he wants.”<br/>
“Really, kitten?” Seonghwa’s voice sounds tinged with happiness.</p><p>“Yes, Seonghwa,” he says exasperatedly, and he hears Seonghwa smile into the phone.<br/>
“Great. Thanks, kitten. And don’t think I didn’t notice you trying to change the topic.”<br/>
Hongjoong groans. “I’ll eat later, Seonghwa, I’m busy.”<br/>
“Where are you? I’ll buy you food.”<br/>
“No—it’s late, there is no need to. Stay home, Seonghwa.”</p><p>Seonghwa chuckles, but Hongjoong knows it means something else that is not amusement. “I’m getting food delivered to you. You’ll eat it all.”<br/>
“But you don’t know where I work.”<br/>
“Yes, you will. You’ll tell me. Right, kitten?”</p><p>God fucking damn it. “Ugh, fine,” says Hongjoong, “KQ Entertainment. I’ll meet the delivery man at the lobby.”</p><p>He is sure Seonghwa is smiling wherever he is. “Alright. I’ll talk to you later, kitten—”<br/>
Hongjoong jolts. “You’re not gonna ask me what I want?”<br/>
“No, you’ll eat what I buy for you. Don’t worry about it, okay? I’ll talk to you later. Love youuuuuu,” he declares in a cutesy voice.</p><p>Hongjoong closes his eyes in resignation, exhaling heavily. He does not respond to Seonghwa, opting instead to directly hang up the call. He throws his phone on his desk.</p><p>“Fuck.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>“Hey, Jihyo noona! Yeah, I’m great! A little stressed, but I’m alright. Yes, I’m eating well. Listen, can I borrow Ryujin for a day?”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>The day they arrange to have the photoshoot for the damn Christmas cards, Seonghwa arrives very early with a box of Christmas décor to help set up the backdrop (Hongjoong confessed prior to the shoot to not having a stock of decoration at his house because he has barely been living there for a year and did not anticipate getting disowned), a young boy barely fifteen with thick lilac hair following closely behind him.</p><p>“Good morning,” Seonghwa greets, pressing a kiss to Hongjoong’s forehead as he enters the front door. He is going to scream. “Where do I set up? This is Wooyoung, by the way.”</p><p>Hongjoong takes this opportunity to examine Wooyoung. The boy has a square-shaped face morphed into irritation, sipping at a Starbucks paper cup while he takes in his surroundings when he sees tiny Ryujin, all dolled up with blonde and red streaks in her hair, a black t-shirt tucked into a black skater skirt, and countless ear piercings, tugging on his pant leg. Wooyoung looks down to see who did that, his expression contorting into one of complete and utter kindness.</p><p>“Hey, baby! What’s your name?” Wooyoung crouches down.<br/>
“Ryujin! Are you an oppa?”<br/>
“I guess I am, because I am bigger than you.”<br/>
“What is your name?”<br/>
“Wooyoung, baby. And you are little Ryu!”<br/>
“Uh-huh! My mama is in the bedroom, she said she wants to see you so you can look like a monster like me!”<br/>
“Oh, okay! Will you take me with you, then?”</p><p>Ryujin nods, taking Wooyoung’s outstretched hand to drag him through the flat.</p><p>Well that was pure. Seonghwa smiles at him once Wooyoung and Ryujin have left the room. “Where’s Yeosang?” He was supposed to be their photographer.</p><p>“On his way. This is quite the set you brought.”<br/>
“What can I say—it brings me great joy to piss off my dear in-laws.”</p><p>Hongjoong tries his best not to swoon. What the hell was that, Seonghwa?</p><p>Seonghwa puts the box on the couch, then turns back to Hongjoong. “Help me set up?”</p><p>Hongjoong nods.</p><p>That is how he ends up hugging Seonghwa’s legs as Seonghwa stands on a chair, taping a large green cloth to the wall and fairy lights around its edges. A tattooed and pierced Wooyoung comes out of the bedroom with Jihyo after getting dressed in a black muscle tee and distressed black jeans, the two of them carrying boxes of empty fake gifts. Ryujin follows with a stack of tacky Christmas sweaters, when they hear the door resound with a knock signalling Yeosang’s arrival.</p><p>“Get the door, Wooyoung-ah,” says Seonghwa as he jumps off the chair, putting his arm around Hongjoong’s waist. “Hey, kitten,” he jokingly greets, and Hongjoong rolls his eyes at him.</p><p>“Hi, Seonghwa,” he drawls, turning away with the intention to continue taping Christmas stockings to the wall. As he whirls around, he catches sight of Yeosang furrowing his brows at the two of them.</p><p>“Aw, kitten,” Seonghwa snakes his arms around Hongjoong’s waist, his cheek resting on Hongjoong’s back, “is that any way to speak to your husband?”</p><p>Hongjoong closes his eyes, huffing in annoyance, “of course not, <em>daddy</em>,” he says quietly. He can recognise Yeosang’s squeak from behind them as he runs into Hongjoong’s room to bark out a laugh. Or ten.</p><p>God fuck.</p><p>Seonghwa lets go of him and laughs as well, standing beside him to observe Hongjoong. “You’re getting brave.”</p><p>Hongjoong says nothing but a simple ‘mm’, trying to ignore the boy who has been making him flustered since they met. Fuck, how did he not run out of business in porn? That has been quite a while now.</p><p>“Could you um, go get ready?” Hongjoong suggests, not looking at Seonghwa and trying to occupy himself with the set, kicking away particular baubles he did not like the look of.<br/>
Seonghwa doesn’t move. “What about you?”<br/>
“I’ll follow after, you go first.”<br/>
Seonghwa shrugs, “alright,” before he bends over from behind Hongjoong and gives him another kiss on the cheek.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>“Wait, wait,” Hongjoong shrieks, “I can’t stop laughing, oh my god.”</p><p>“No, Yeosang, keep going!” Seonghwa instructs, licking the side of Hongjoong’s face as the snap of Yeosang’s camera goes off.</p><p>“Ew!” Hongjoong squeals, wiping Seonghwa’s saliva off his face. “Gross.”<br/>
Seonghwa’s laughter is dying down as he says, “I’m keeping that one for myself.”<br/>
“Gay,” Hongjoong jokes, and Seonghwa sneers at him.</p><p>“Okay, but seriously, now, Yeosang,” Hongjoong commands, and Yeosang flashes him a thumbs-up. Hongjoong wraps his arms around Seonghwa’s firm torso (holy shit, he’s touching Seonghwa’s washboard abs) and presses his face against Seonghwa’s back, donning a very pitiful look on his face. Seonghwa stands tall and dominating, his hand on Wooyoung’s shoulder who is sat on a stool with Ryujin on his lap. This kid should model, that bitch face in angry dark red lipstick could make half the existing models in the country quiver in fear.</p><p>As the snap goes off, Hongjoong loses his composure and laughs louder than he has ever have this entire year, and Seonghwa laughs too, before Yeosang instructs them to switch positions—Seonghwa is still standing, but this time Hongjoong sits down and has Ryujin on his lap. Wooyoung goes to stand to the left of Seonghwa, Seonghwa’s left arm around Wooyoung’s shoulders and his right hand resting on Hongjoong.</p><p>And they laugh again, and Hongjoong notes the laugh lines around Seonghwa’s eyes, and smiles.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>“Thanks so much, for the help, Seonghwa.”<br/>
“Not a problem, it was fun spending time with you.”</p><p>Fuck.</p><p>“I guess,” Hongjoong laughs, a forced one, as he bows awkwardly, “I’ll see you on Afreeca, or something?”<br/>
Seonghwa laughs again, and Hongjoong basks in the sound because this is the last time he is hearing it. “Or not.”<br/>
Hongjoong raises his brow, “I’m sorry?”<br/>
“How about tomorrow?”<br/>
“What?”</p><p>Seonghwa laughs again, “I’m asking you out, kitten. I had fun, I want to see you again." He takes Hongjoong's hand in his. "I have a shoot tomorrow afternoon, so breakfast? We can go to the same café we met.”</p><p>Hongjoong is stunned. “I-I… I-uh…”</p><p>Yeosang grabs Hongjoong’s shoulders from behind him, “I’ll be sure to wake him up for that, he’ll meet you at six-thirty?”</p><p>Seonghwa nods, smiling so beautifully, “of course, thank you, Yeosang.”</p><p>Seonghwa moves to kiss Hongjoong on the cheek again before stepping out the door, closing it behind him. Yeosang pulls him back inside, raving about the photos, only to realize that his friend is in another plane of existence.</p><p>“Hongjoong?” Yeosang says, waving his hands in front of Hongjoong’s eyes. “Hongjoong? Oy.”</p><p>Hongjoong buries his face in his hands. “Oh my god.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p> </p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <strong>MERRY CHRISTMAS</strong>
  </p>
  <p>Season’s greetings from the Parks: Hongjoong "Pirate King" and Seonghwa “Daniel Park”, and their children, Wooyoung and Ryujin.</p>
  <p> </p>
  <p> </p>
</blockquote>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks to:<br/>Zai (ilyiad), Heart, and Nami for being enablers.<br/>Aliyah for giving Seonghwa his pornstar name, and for suggesting Ryujin.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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